Monday, October 3, 2011

Not So Great Mommy Moment

I am feeling so ashamed right now. I had a not-so-great-mommy-moment this evening. To be exact - I had a Kate Gosselin moment and that lady makes me cringe.  I am so thankful that a camera was not around when I had my fit. I think I would lose all my friends and become a pariah in the church if anyone saw me.

Tonight I suddenly remembered that my 5th grader had homework. Strike # 1 - doing homework late makes me fretful. It wasn't an easy assignment either. He had to write 2 limericks, a funny poem, and answer questions about poetry. Strike #2 - he was not listening to me at all and he kept looking at the clock because he wanted to get on the computer to play Garry's Mod with his friends. He'd already spent several hours on the computer today so it wasn't like he was missing out.  Strike #3 - I felt like I was doing most of the work. Hello. If I'm going to give you my time and attention I would like a little effort. Strike #4 - Even though I kept repeating the rules of the limerick and wrote guidelines along the side of which sentences should rhyme he still kept trying to do it his way Strike #5 - every time I erased his incorrect rhymes or lack of capitalization he would get upset with me.

To be honest I blew up and I started yelling at him. I said he doesn't have to look at the clock anymore because he won't be using the computer at all. So my boy started crying. I was asking "Are you crying because you can't get on the computer anymore?"  My husband interceded and said, "No he's crying because you're yelling." I said "I think he's crying about the computer."  More back and forth happened but I won't bore you with the details. Dad finished helping with the homework instead and I was left feeling like a failure once again.

I know, I know I could have told my boy in a controlled manner that he was no longer getting computer time. I didn't have to yell. But I am emotionally drained from other stuff that happened this weekend.  And I never said I was patient. Impatience is one of my worst traits. It doesn't matter though - these are excuses. And there's no excuse for behaving like a tyrant. Before my son went to bed I told him I was sorry and asked for forgiveness. But I still feel bad.

So here I am putting it out there that I behaved terribly.  Start throwing the stones.

I'm just wondering if anyone else out there has had a moment like mine? Or just a moment that you are glad that your parenting skills wasn't captured on video like using paper towels and duct tape for diapers.

1 comment:

  1. Hi there, Don't worry moments like this happen to everyone. I've had too many to even count! Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier. liz


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